Beautiful Boy & Tweak

Nic Sheff, an insecure kid who hated who he was, tried nearly everything to hide what was inside of him. His path of self-loathing led downwards into drugs and anything that would allow him to feed his addiction.

His father, David Sheff, attempted nearly everything he knew to do in his effort to repair the boy he had lost, the boy he remembered from his son’s childhood, and keep him from traveling along his downward spiral.

While drugs may not be your mask of choice, many of us are like Nic in our self-loathing and our attempts to hide from the world. Others of us are like his father, David, trying everything we can do to fix our friend’s problems.

When I first saw the movie, Beautiful Boy, I was moved by the plight of those who are addicted to drugs. But, as the movie sank in and I considered the truth behind Nic’s and David’s struggles, I realized the movie was about much more than drug addiction. It was about salvation, but I don’t mean “Salvation” with a capital “S,” — the sort offered by God through Jesus Christ — I mean salvation with a small “s,” — the sort we offer to others on a daily basis, whether it is accepted or not.

Then I was reminded of one of my all-time favorite movies, A River Runs Through It, and my favorite quote from the movie. The father, a pastor, is giving a sermon years after his youngest son had died. He says, “We are willing to help lord, but what, if anything is needed? For it is true we can seldom help those who are closest to us. Either we don’t know what part of ourselves to give, or more often than not the part we have to give is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us. But we can still love them. We can love completely without complete understanding.”

In the movie Beautiful Boy, David, Nic’s father, learned the hard way that he could not fix his son’s problems; all he could do was offer his son love. The most touching scene in the movie — where David and Nic are sitting on a bench, Nic crying and David holding him — is a perfect picture of this; sometimes all we can do is hold the one who hurts and be there with them in their pain.

God’s Salvation — salvation with a capital “S” — does not negate the need for the salvation we must offer each other on a daily basis. We may not be able to fix someone’s problems, but unless we are willing to walk through their problems with them, the one hurting may never find the strength to endure.

The movie Beautiful Boy was based on two books, Beautiful Boy, written by David Sheff, and Tweak, written by Nic Sheff. The movie can be graphic at times in its portrayal of Nic’s life, but it is never gratuitous. And even though it is rated R, I would recommend it as a planned family event allowing time for discussion afterward. I also recommend the books, but be warned that they hide very little of Nic’s life and the depths to which he went. They are difficult reads, to be sure, but I found them to be enlightening.

Some of the last words Nic uses as he closes his book are these:

“For myself, I’ve come to discover that holding on to secrets about who I am and where I come from is toxic. My secrets will kill me. If I don’t get honest about my life, I cannot have recovery. I’ve learned that from…my own experience. I need to admit to what I’ve done, who I’ve been. That is how I have been able to survive.”

Vulnerability. Acceptance. Love. Salvation. Offer them and receive them.