For if you forgive others…

Jesus said, “Amen” so shouldn’t we be at the end of our discussion on prayer? Actually, no. In both Matthew 6 and Luke 11, Jesus continues discussing prayer after providing his prayer to the disciples. He told us we should pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” And in Matthew 6, following the Lord’s Prayer, Jesus returns to the issue of forgiveness. He says,

For if you forgive others their trespasses,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you,
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. – Matthew 6:14-15

Jesus clearly repeats himself here; but in so doing, clarifies his meaning. The Father’s forgiveness is dependent upon our forgiveness of others. But this leaves me scratching my head. Does God, the Father, really withhold his forgiveness of my sins if I do not forgive others? Didn’t Jesus’s death on the cross secure God’s unconditional forgiveness? I thought as long as I confessed my sins to the Father and admit my need for a savior, then there was nothing else to do. I thought my relationship with God was between him and me…and no one else.

It seems that I must have been wrong.

Take a minute to let his words sink in,

“If you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive yours.”

Jesus once told a story about a guy who owed his master 10,000 talents. A talent was worth about 20 years of an average person’s wages. If Jesus told the story today, the worker would have owed his employer about 10 billion dollars. (The average worker’s annual wage in the U.S. is $50,000. Multiply that times 20 years gets you one talent. Multiply that times 10,000 talents and you get 10 billion dollars). So, let’s just say this guy owed his master a lot of money, and his master was going to throw him into prison until he could pay it off. But the servant, realizing he could never pay off a $10,000,000,000 debt, begged for mercy. And, oddly enough, the master granted it. Elated, the now-debt-free servant left his master’s house and immediately ran into a guy who owed him about one day’s worth of the average wage. (In our modern version of this story, the guy owed him about $192). Even though he had just been forgiven $10,000,000,000 he took this guy and threw him into prison until he could pay off the $192. It wasn’t long before the master heard about it and he was unrelenting in his punishment. The master handed this stupid servant over to the jailers to be tortured until he could pay off his full debt of $10,000,000,000. He wasn’t just sent to prison, he was continually tortured!

This story, found in Matthew 18:21-35, concludes with these words, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Let those words sink in again.

“So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.”

I’m not certain how theologians handle this teaching, but it seems that the clear reading of this passage is that if I do not forgive someone who has sinned against me, God will not forgive me. This makes it appear as if the forgiveness God offers to us is dependent upon the forgiveness we give others. Some might call this is a works-based theology, nullifying Jesus’ work on the cross, but regardless, Jesus seems to mean.

He tells us in Matthew 6:12 to pray, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.” He tells us in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” And he tells us in Matthew 18:35, “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” I’m pretty sure if Jesus tells us something three times, we probably ought to listen to him.

Jesus seems to be emphasizing the fact that we must forgive others or the Father will not forgive us. That’s pretty simple, isn’t it? I mean, I’m a sinner just like everyone else. I can forgive others.

But, can you forgive your neighbor for stealing your favorite shovel?
Can you forgive your employer for passing you over for a promotion?
Can you forgive the thief who broke into your car and ripped out all the electronics?
Can you forgive the corrupt police officers who killed a person by kneeling on their throat?
Can you forgive your sibling who continually harps about your shortcomings?
Can you forgive your teacher who plays favorites—and you aren’t the favorite?
Can you forgive your student who is continually disrespectful?
Can you forgive your close friend who has proven to be untrustworthy?
Can you forgive the man who raped your wife?
Can you forgive the criminal who abused your child?
Can you forgive…

Isn’t there a line somewhere? Some of these people owe much more than $192.

Well, maybe they do, but I don’t think that’s the point. Your debt is $10,000,000,000, and yet you were forgiven.

Okay, fine. Can’t I just forgive them from my heart? Do I have to tell them? I mean…okay, I forgive them, but some of these people are really truly horrible. Does God know how humiliating it would be to offer them forgiveness? Does he expect me to forgive them AND give up my right to hold a grudge against them? Can’t I just forgive them but tell them I don’t want to ever think about them again? Does Jesus really want us to forgive and befriend those who have sinned against us? I mean, are we supposed to give up our power over that person? Does God know how humiliating that can be? I mean, he’s God, for God’s sake. How can the most powerful being in all existence really understand humility?

Well, let me think… He was born in a manger next to shitty animals. He became a small helpless child who crapped his pants. He smashed his thumb when hammering nails. He got dirty walking the sewage laden streets of the ancient cities in the middle-east. He never felt air conditioning. He never had a manicure or pedicure. He didn’t really have a home. He was abused by others for telling the truth. He was beaten. He bled. He died naked on a cross—not with a loincloth as all of our pictures portray—for everyone to see the most intimate parts of his body.

And on that cross, hanging naked for all to see, bleeding from his hands, feet, and head, he looked up to heaven and said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.”

In his moment of greatest humiliation, he prayed for the forgiveness of those who humbled him and despised him.

Whenever I come to the portion of the Lord’s Prayer that reads, “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” I have to stop and think. I don’t need to think about whether God will forgive me or whether he remembers my sins. I already know the answers to those questions. Rather, I have to think about whether there is anyone I have not forgiven. Do I have any grudges, any bitterness, any anger, any hate for another person? And I have to be honest about this. If I am not able to say that I have let their sins go; if I am not able to say that I have forgiven them; if I am not able to say that I’ve expressed my forgiveness to them, then I know I have some work to do.

Jesus told us if we go to the altar and remember that someone has something against us we should go make it right. Jesus told us we should settle things with another before he takes us to court and imprisons us. Jesus told us to go and reconcile ourselves to those who have sinned against us. If someone comes to mind as you pray “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors,” then you must do what is within your power to express your forgiveness for the sins of others and ask for the forgiveness of your own sins.

But that is difficult, isn’t it? It’s something I fail at that more than I succeed. I know there are some to whom I need to go and ask forgiveness, but I’ve been busy, tired, fearful, hopeful that time will heal all wounds. I’m sure God will understand, right?

I don’t know. I have a hard time imagining God saying, “You had good intentions, so that’s okay.”

I think Jesus meant it when he said,

For if you forgive others their trespasses,
your heavenly Father will also forgive you,
but if you do not forgive others their trespasses,
neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Read the Next Post: Which of you has a friend…