Introductory Thoughts on Prayer

For many years I’ve found myself between the desire to have the freedom to do and say what I want, and the knowledge that I seem to make better choices when a path is laid out in front of me. I’ve often thought these two seemingly contrary urges to irreconcilable, but recently I’ve realized that these two urges are not only compatible but are essentially related to one another; they are, as the old adage goes, two sides of the same coin.

Nowhere in my life has this been more evident than in my prayer life. Prayer always seemed that it should be a natural and organic conversation between myself and God; it couldn’t be a script. And if I was to have a relationship with God, then there should be a good amount of give and take. I should be able to say what is on my heart and in my mind and that would be sufficient; that should be prayer.

My thoughts on prayer were often reinforced by pastors saying the same thing. “God doesn’t want a script—he doesn’t want senseless babbling and repetition; he doesn’t want a robot—he wants to hear from you, the real you.” I was being told to talk to him just like I’d talk to a person sitting next to me. Maybe they were right, but that’s a bit of a problem for me—I’m not very skilled at starting and maintaining conversations with other people. For example, just after I had graduated college I was trying to start a relationship with a girl over the phone. I kept a note pad on my desk and would write notes and some questions that I could ask her for whenever we would talk next. I’d also keep track of her answers so the next time we talked I would have a good starting point. I really wanted to make a flow chart for talking with her…but I thought that might be a bit odd. As it turned out, that relationship didn’t last too long.

So it should be no surprise that when it comes to prayer, I’ve read a number of books on the subject. Most of them have been well-written and filled with helpful tips, solid theological reasoning, and good pastoral advice. But when it came to actually praying, they weren’t all that helpful. I still have most of those books on my shelves and often think about re-reading them with the hopes that I missed something. But I am not so sure that the time spent in reading them would actually help me anymore. I don’t think I need my head filled with more knowledge about prayer, I need someone to actually guide me in how to really pray.

I’ve gotten so self-conscious about prayer that I almost never pray in front of people anymore. I usually defer so I can see how others pray. I’ve listened to many public prayers in church, over dinner, and in other places and circumstances and have found that people are often repetitive and predictable every time they pray—people often also have their own “prayer voice” but I won’t go into that! A good number of people seem to use prayer to say the things they really want to say to others but for some reason feel uncomfortable saying them directly so they put their words a prayer so as to make it somehow safer.

The Bible has a number of public prayers that I’ve studied, but it’s rare that I will ever need to bless the temple or pray to keep my people from being slaughtered by the king. I know most of the public prayers in the Bible are very context-specific but I haven’t found them easily translatable into my daily prayers.

Some people teach various acrostic-type prayers, the most famous of which is, I think, the A.C.T.S. Prayer; Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication. At first that sounded great—a script with some freedom! But praying A.C.T.S. got pretty old to me fairly quickly. The first thing that got me wearied out on it was how people would say that we can ask for what we want (i.e. Supplication) as long as we did the A.C.T. portion. That sounded like prayer being used as a charm so I can manipulate God. The second thing that pushed me away from it was that there was so much in the Bible that I thought should be part of prayer that acrostic-type prayers never accounted for. It also felt quite a bit like that small notepad on my desk that I used whenever I talked to that girl so many decades ago; scripted but stifling.

I’ve also tried praying through scripture, in particular, through the Psalms. This was an approach that I found to be quite beneficial. When I allowed the psalmist’s words to run through my mind and across my tongue I could offer small portions of myself and my daily life to God. Each psalm became quite personal and full of deep meaning, but there were many times when I felt a disconnect between the events of my day and the psalm I was currently working through. I did try to shift my focus and allow the psalms to direct my thoughts, feelings, and longings, or as Dr. Price, my Talbot professor would say, I allowed the Psalms to work through me. This was a great step forward in my prayer life, and it is a practice with which I still engage to this day. But there still seemed to be something missing.

It wasn’t until I re-read a quite familiar passage of scripture before I realized the obvious answer to my prayer problem had been sitting in front of me for decades.

In Luke 11:1-13 I read the following interchange between Jesus and one of his disciples:

Now Jesus was praying in a certain place, and when he finished, one of his disciples said to him, “Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.” And he said to them, “When you pray, say:

Father, hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come.
Give us each day our daily bread,
and forgive us our sins,
for we ourselves forgive everyone who is indebted to us.
And lead us not into temptation.

And he said to them, “Which of you who has a friend will go to him at midnight and say to him, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves, for a friend of mine has arrived on a journey, and I have nothing to set before him’; and he will answer from within, ‘Do not bother me; the door is now shut, and my children are with me in bed. I cannot get up and give you anything’? I tell you, though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his impudence he will rise and give him whatever he needs. And I tell you, ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. What father among you, if his son asks for a fish, will instead of a fish give him a serpent; or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

This interchange caused me to look back to the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 6:5-15 where Jesus addresses prayer. He says,

“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this:

Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come,
your will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.
For yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen.

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

I’ve known The Lord’s Prayer by heart for years and have heard it sung many times. I even prayed it over lunch once while on a mission trip—the people gave me funny looks afterward. I wonder if it holds the dual-distinction of being both the most known prayer as well as the least prayed prayer. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it prayed in a church service except on those times when I visited a church whose services are much more liturgical. I have the impression that most of the churches I’ve attended have seen it as being a bit too “Catholic” for them; I hope my impression is wrong.

Regardless of what is going on in the church, I’ve begun to pray The Lord’s Prayer almost exclusively in my now private prayer times. I figured that if Jesus, when he was asked how to pray, told us to pray this prayer then I should probably obey him. At first, I was merely repeating the words—following Jesus’ script—but as I’ve been praying The Lord’s Prayer more frequently I’ve found that it has freed me to pray for those things I want to pray for; I am guided by The Lord’s Prayer. Imagine that, by following a seemingly rigid form I’ve found more freedom than ever before.

It would be simple for me to just finish my thoughts on prayer by saying, “Always pray The Lord’s Prayer and it will transform you and your prayer time.” Perhaps I should. I mean, what words can I offer that are on par with the words of Christ? Furthermore, if you allow the prayer to work through you, then the guidance of the Holy Spirit will be far more important and effective than anything I might say. Even so, I can’t help but think that some of the insights and thoughts I’ve had while praying The Lord’s Prayer are like being given a talent of gold; I’d rather not be like that servant who buried his talent in the ground.

I certainly haven’t mastered prayer and now think I can tell others how to do it. Jesus’ words are sufficient. But since I’ve muddled about on the foothills of God’s truth for years and have finally found a gem of inestimable value, I want to share it with others. Certainly, my upcoming words could be taken as just another guide on how to pray—the same as those books on my shelf that I stopped reading so long ago. Maybe that is all my words will amount to. But if the words I write over the coming weeks on The Lord’s Prayer help your prayer life even just a little bit, then my time writing these words will be well spent.

Read the next post: Now Jesus Was Praying