Matthew 19:1-15 – Divorce, Eunuchs, and Little Children…Again!

This may seem redundant since we just recapped our study of Matthew’s Gospel last week, but here it is again: an outline of our study of Matthew’s Gospel thus far:

• Matthew 1-2 helps us pray “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name” as it details God’s unfolding plan in history,
• Matthew 3-7 helps us pray “Your kingdom come” by introducing us to the kingdom of heaven through John’s and Jesus’s teaching,
• Matthew 8-9 shows us what is entailed in praying, “Your will be done” as we read of Jesus healing the sick and calling his disciples,
• Matthew 10-14:12 shows us how the Father’s Kingdom and the Father’s Will come “on earth as it is in heaven” as the twelve disciples preach and heal,
• Matthew 14:13-17 helps us understand praying “Give us this day our daily bread” as we see the many ways the Father provides for us,
• And Matthew 18 emphasizes forgiveness, helping us better pray, “forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.”

With 18 chapters of Matthew and six petitions of the Lord’s Prayer behind us, our present discussion will move into how Matthew’s Gospel helps us better understand the petition “And lead us not into temptation.” But I must admit, if there is a weak point to my proposal that Matthew’s Gospel is arranged according to the order of the Lord’s Prayer, it would be found in this present comparison between Matthew 19 and 20 and the seventh petition of the Lord’s Prayer, “And lead us not into temptation.” Matthew 19 and 20 hold a mixed bag of events without any apparent semblance of order. Matthew 19 begins with the Pharisees asking Jesus about divorce, it is followed by the disciples rebuking some people bringing children to Jesus, then comes a rich guy who believes he is nearly perfect in obeying the ten commandments. Jesus then tells a parable about workers in a vineyard, he reminds his disciples that he is going to die, and finally, James’s and John’s mother wants high positions for her sons.

Furthermore, with the exception of the parable and the encounter with James and John’s mother, these two chapters are nearly identical to passages found in Mark 10 and Luke 18:9-43. With the similarities so close, this might tend to indicate that Matthew, instead of organizing the material to fit his purpose in writing, chose to include these events more as a matter of fact than as events fitting his specific theme or purpose. Yet, even with some questions, even of my own, hovering over this comparison, when we take a close look at the first couple of verses of Matthew 19, we find a few indicators that Matthew is deliberately starting a new section of his Gospel, and with that, a new thematic element. Matthew writes,

1 Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.

Matthew 19:1-2

There are many other verses in Matthew’s Gospel where we are told about Jesus’s teaching, his being followed by crowds, and his healing of the sick, but most of those other verses do not seem to be randomly placed. Interestingly enough, each section of Matthew detailed above begins with verses about Jesus’s teaching, crowds, and or healings. The section in Matthew 3-7 where Jesus begins his ministry and explains how to better pray your kingdom come, begins with verses telling us that Jesus healed the crowds that followed him (Matt. 4:23-5:1). Matthew 8-9, informing us how to better pray your will be done, is introduced by verses telling us that crowds followed Jesus and he healed a leper (Matt. 8:1). Matthew 10-14, where Jesus sends his disciples out to teach the Father’s kingdom and do the Father’s will on earth as it is in heaven, begins with Jesus empowering his followers to heal all sorts of disease (Matt. 10:1). In Matthew 14-17, where we are taught how to better pray for our daily bread and to forgive others as we have been forgiven, we are told of the many crowds following Jesus and Jesus healing the sick (Matt. 14:13-14). And, in Matthew 21-27, a section yet to be studied that helps us understand what it means to pray for deliverance from evil, begins with crowds following Jesus toward Jerusalem where he heals two blind men (Matt. 20:29-34). As such, Matthew 19:1-2, telling us that large crowds followed him and were healed, appears to herald the beginning of a new section in Matthew’s Gospel. Additionally, it would seem to be irresponsible to not point out that all of these introductory verses in each section of Matthew include comments about following Jesus. This would seem to indicate that Matthew’s Gospel is focused on what it means to follow Jesus, and in particular, as we are progressing through this present study, how we might best follow Jesus in prayer.

But crowds following Jesus is just the indicator we are in a new section. When Matthew writes that Jesus went to the area of Judea on the other side of the Jordan River, he tells us the nature of this new section. The other side of the Jordan is the same place where John previously baptized and preached repentance for sins (Matt. 3:1-11). Even though Mark also includes this information, in Matthew’s hands, this location where John had once preached repentance, becomes the place where Jesus teaches his followers about the Father’s narrow gate and his difficult path that leads to a life beyond repentance; a life free from the consequences of giving in to temptation (Matt. 7:13-14).

Jesus begins his first lesson about temptation when the Pharisees question him. Matthew writes,

3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?” 4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” 7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?” 8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. 9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”

Matthew 19:3-9

Before we see what these verses might say about temptation, we must not miss the obvious teaching that divorce has never been part of God’s plan. This passage is sufficient on its own as a guide to every marriage: unless your partner has committed adultery, there is no reason for divorce. But, Israel, and for that matter, all of humanity ever since creation, being the sort of people we are, seem to have found many other reasons to get rid of their spouses, so Moses made a concession. I realize there are many reasons people support divorce today and I, not having ever been married, am probably not in a position to discuss the specifics of any of them. However, I think James, the brother of Jesus, might have something to say indirectly about the majority of reasons people choose divorce when he wrote the following,

14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.

James 1:14-15

When it comes to marriage, each person has their own desire. Some desire the pretty young thing instead of their decades-long wife. Some desire the emotional support of a co-worker instead of their cold and aloof husband. Some desire to have their way instead of giving in to compromise. Some desire independence, some desire autonomy, some desire control, some desire all the money, some desire to be victorious in every argument, some desire to…well, you get the picture. While each desire is different, every one of them has something in common: they are all temptations we can either embrace or reject. The root cause of every sort of divorce, including sexual immorality, is a longing for that which we don’t have; and this root has a name: temptation. On the surface, Jesus’s dialogue with the Pharisees teaches us about divorce, but it also teaches us nearly everything we need to know about temptation. Sin, including divorce, begins when we give in to the evil desires within our own hearts; it begins when we give in to temptation.

But this is not all Jesus is telling us. He is also revealing we can know if a desire is evil. When Jesus tells us that God never had divorce in mind, he is providing us with the standard for good. Notice why Moses allowed for divorce. This text doesn’t provide many details about the certificate of divorce, nor does the Old Testament, save for a brief reference in Deuteronomy 24:1-4, but based on what Jesus said, after some men went to Moses and asked him to reconsider the issue, he allowed for divorce because, as Jesus said, their hearts were hard. But toward what had they hardened their hearts? When Moses gave God’s law to the people, the people didn’t like it and then essentially asked, “Did God actually say…?” They questioned God’s word. But such a question isn’t new. The first sin occurred after the snake approached Eve and asked, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” Eve and the hardhearted men of Moses’s time had hardened themselves to the word of God, and in so doing, they watered the roots of temptation. We know which desires are evil by listening to God and paying attention to his word.

On a side note, though I think this side note might help us understand God, temptation, and forgiveness even a bit more, God allowed divorce in the case of sexual immorality because ostensibly that is the one sin that can do irreparable harm to a marriage. But, (this might get me in trouble, but keep in mind that I’ve never been married), I wonder if even that is a good reason for divorce. What I mean is, the Bible compares our relationship to the Father with marriage: Jesus is the bridegroom and we are the bride; this was even true in the Old Testament when Israel played the part of the bride. As such, whenever we choose to give into our own desires — whenever we sin — we commit adultery against our bridegroom Jesus. Now, if adultery is a reason for divorce, and it very well may be, but if it is, I for one am glad Jesus doesn’t invoke his right to divorce. Jesus forgives us and welcomes us back after we repent from having had our affair with the sins of the world (Lev. 26:40-42; I John 1:9). Not only does God not have divorce in mind, God runs to us with open arms. If you doubt this, just ask the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32).

When Jesus told his disciples not to get divorced, he was revealing to them the root causes of temptation as well as showing them why it is necessary to pray “lead us not into temptation.” But the disciples appeared to have missed the teaching on temptation and were only able to engage with Jesus’s talk of divorce. Matthew writes,

10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” 11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given. 12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”

Matthew 19:10-12

I’m not really sure what tone of voice the disciples had when they responded, but I imagine it was one of defeat: if they couldn’t get rid of a wife who displeased them, then why marry; but if they didn’t marry, what about sex? Then when Jesus reframed their question and told them they would have to either put up with a displeasing woman or become a eunuch, I would guess they were downright displeased. I realize we don’t think about eunuchs much today, but when we do, we probably have the same thoughts the disciples had when Jesus mentioned eunuchs, and I imagine they cringed. They probably thought of a eunuch as someone who had been emasculated — if you don’t know what that means, ask your mom or dad, but beware, they might also have something else to say about birds and bees. But besides being emasculated, the word eunuch can also mean someone who has voluntarily abstained from marriage. In either case, Jesus’s response assumed the only alternative to marriage was a life of (painful) abstinence.

Jesus was saying that regardless of how unsatisfying you think your marriage is, marriage is for life or you don’t marry at all. Jesus knew the urges occupying the minds of men — Jesus was a man himself — but he also knew two other things. First, he knew that all such urges could be satisfied in the context of a God-ordained marriage, in which you must take the whole kit-and-kaboodle (i.e. no divorce). Secondly, Jesus knew that the Father and the Father’s word were sufficient for anyone who might, for whatever reason, live a life of celibacy. But this was not just a message Jesus preached, Jesus lived it.

Rarely do I hear people discuss this, but when Jesus chose celibacy he showed that he had the power to rebuff temptation. I find it difficult to imagine that Jesus had been made a eunuch by emasculation; it is more likely that he chose abstinence. By the time we meet Jesus in his ministry years, he was about 30, unmarried, and had been able to withstand all the temptations that go along with being a young man. Jesus showed that choosing to follow God’s laws enabled him to conquer temptation and sin.

Jesus was talking about marriage and abstinence, but he was also explaining that the path to avoid temptation is found by following the Father’s guidance (Matt. 7:13-14). The Father created us to be his children and to be the bride of his Son, but when we stray from his narrow and difficult path by giving into the temptations of our own evil desires we commit adultery. Thankfully, however, the Father welcomes us back instead of writing a decree of divorce.

The next few verses appear to be a random change of subject, but I think they remind us how quickly we can give in to a temptation that we thought we had learned to avoid. Matthew writes,

13 Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, 14 but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” 15 And he laid his hands on them and went away.

Matthew 19:13-15

It wasn’t very long ago when Jesus told the disciples that if they wanted to be great they should become like little children: the path to becoming great (megas) goes through becoming the least (mikros). I’ve always wondered why most men seem to skim the part of Paul’s writings where he tells husbands to love their wives while they study and proclaim Paul’s command that wives should submit to their husbands. It’s like they don’t know that submission is highly unlikely if first there is no love. I wonder if these men don’t know that husbands must love their wives if they want to expect their wives to be submissive. Don’t they know that God first loved us, so our reasonable response to him should be love and submission? (I John 4:19) I don’t think it is coincidental that Jesus is described as the bridegroom and we as the bride. Jesus showed us the ultimate expression of love in his self-sacrifice for his bride. Jesus’s love was the supreme act of becoming megas by becoming mikros.

But the disciples were not loving when they saw the children being brought into their presence. The disciples had not learned the lesson from the previous chapter (Matt. 18:1-4) when they rebuked those who brought the children: the disciples were still thinking of themselves as megas and looking down on the mikros. But this episode is not just about the disciples and children. One of the greatest temptations we face in life is the temptation to make ourselves megas while we demean others and make them mikros. The disciples gave into the temptation of pride, and they also failed the test of perseverance. They were following Jesus along the Father’s narrow and difficult path one chapter ago when Jesus embraced the children, but on this day when the children were brought to Jesus, the disciples strayed from the Father’s narrow path and embraced the temptation of pride.

Matthew 18 and 19 might be a mixed bag of events without any semblance of order, but they also might be a collection of events that teach us about temptation. From this week’s passage, we have learned about divorce and children, but we have also learned that our prayer lead us not into temptation is a prayer to keep us from our pride, a prayer to have the courage to remain mikros, and a prayer to continually listen to the Father’s voice. Just as we need the Father’s daily bread, we also need the Father’s daily guidance, for even if we have been able to conquer temptation on Sunday, Monday is just around the corner and we need the Father’s guidance if we are to avoid the pitfalls our temptations construct for us on either side of life’s difficult and narrow road.

• Click HERE to go to the page containing all the posts for this study on The Lord’s Prayer and Matthew’s Gospel