One of my favorite movie lines is found in Shadowlands, the story of C.S. Lewis and Joy Gresham, in one of the side stories involving Lewis and a student who sleeps in his class and steals books from a local bookstore. In the course of a conversation with Lewis, the student says, “We read to know we’re not alone.” Now, I’ve read many books, as I trust most of you have, but it has been a very small number about which I am able to say the book has helped me know I’m not alone. At the top of that small list sits Henri Nouwen’s The Inner Voice of Love.
The Inner Voice of Love began as a private journal of Nouwen’s following a difficult time in his life. He found himself in a deep state of despair unable to find joy and love. Instead of retreating into a self-medicating cocoon as many of us might by binge-watching the latest Netflix series, giving into sensuality, or turning to substances to placate his malaise, he instead wrote to himself a spiritual imperative every day — something that he thought God was teaching him through the course of his dark night of the soul. It was nearly eight years later when prompted by the urging of his close friends he released his journal to the public as The Inner Voice of Love.
When I was much younger I had the impression that followers of Christ never had deep internal struggles and tensions that would not immediately go away; we were all promised a life full of “peace that passeth all understanding.” But as I have gotten older I’ve realized that’s not true and it has caused me to call into question my own relationship with Christ. I’ve often asked myself questions like, “If I’m continually struggling with depression and can’t find a sense of meaning and purpose, does that mean I am not a true believer?” Or, “If all believers have a peace which passeth all understanding, why don’t I?” I’ve also wondered why no one had ever told me about the deeper inner struggles of life, and why no one ever told me that God might leave me in a desert wasteland for his own purposes.
I think it’s possible that my experience has been unique and that other Christians live perfectly peaceful lives, but I don’t honestly think that’s the case despite what some people may say. For those who struggle deeply with doubts relating to their Christian experience, I’ve found Nouwen’s book to be a source of encouragement.
The chapters (if you can call them that) are small, often only one page, at the most two, and easy to read in a couple of minutes. It makes for a wonderful addition to your daily devotional studies in the word. Take it to work with you and read a chapter at break or lunch and then meditate on what he has to say and how it might be an encouragement to you. I promise you that you will not be disappointed. And, if you do open yourself up to Nouwen’s healing journey in a way that you might not wish to do publicly, you too might find that you are not alone on this path we call life.
The Inner Voice of Love can be purchased at Amazon by following this link.
