Doubt: Psalm 69

False, O Lord, my ways have been
    Before those that I know,
Waiting in the dark till when
    Time would the hidden show.

False rock thrown in my life’s pool,
    Broad ripples crashing wide,
Waves and breakers are your tool
    To push me to your side.

Just would be this storm of life
    To break my living hull,
But you chose instead of strife
    To issue mercy’s call.

Surface that’s been broken true,
    False ripples soon arise.
No wall can I build anew
    To shrink their damning size.

Truth I knew would soon come out,
    But must I bear false too?
Rocking now on waves of doubt,
    I question all I do.

Cast about by phantom waves,
    I ask for your just hand
To calm storm and then to save
    And bring me to safe land.

On your hand that calms the sea
    Rests clearly one dark scar.
In a moment then I see
    A deep and unjust mar.

Hands unstained by sin and pure
    Bear guilty marks of mine.
Supreme mercy’s act I’m sure
    When sins of mine are thine.

Help me, Lord, to ride each crest
    And all the troughs so deep,
Trusting that your plan is best
    To ever safe me keep.

And on rippled pond I ask,
    Please give me words to sing
Of your gracious saving task
    Till me to shore you bring.