One of the more interesting elements of the Harry Potter world is the Mirror of Erised, the frame of which says, (if read backward) “I show not your face but your heart’s desire.” In The Sorcerer’s Stone, young Harry finds himself staring into this mirror quite frequently because in it he sees the parents he never knew. However satisfying that might be, Dumbledore warns him of the dangers one encounters by continually staring into the mirror, “Men have wasted away before it, not knowing if what they have seen is real, or even possible.” In an odd sort of way, that describes the way I feel at times when I read scripture, namely the Psalms.
For instance, while desirable, it is still impossible for me to see myself in the psalmist’s words in Psalm 119:121, “I have done what is right, do not leave me to my oppressors.” I see in these words what I desire to be able to say. I want to say I have not done wrong, and not merely in specific instances but in all of life, but the truth of the matter is I can’t, and I imagine none of us can say these words truthfully. But this does not change that fact that I still look into the mirror of scripture and long to say these words without reservation.
And while these words reveal my shortcomings, they also bring a sort of madness into my life as I think of different ways in which I could say them. Most often I will arrive at one of two possibilities: either I rationalize my actions away laying blame at the feet of another thus escaping responsibility for the wrong that was done, or I make plans for my future so that under my own power I will someday be able to say these words with an honest voice. But both possibilities have fatal flaws. The act of rationalizing is a reflection of Adam and Eve’s response when God asked them if they had eaten of the fruit of the tree in the garden: it is an insufficient response, covering one’s sin by ‘passing the buck,’ not escaping it. Or, as we all most likely know from our own experience, there is not a single plan we can devise to keep us from sinning again; sin flows out of us like breathing. If these are the only two possibilities available for us, then it is likely we will waste away before the mirror of scripture longing for that which we know is impossible.
Thankfully there is a third possibility. Maybe there is someone who has lived in such a way so that these words ring true for him. Furthermore, it’s possible that this someone has, by his life, death, and resurrection, allowed each us to partake in the salvation offered for us through his actions. Thus making it possible for us to we not only the words in Psalm 119:121, but all the words in the rest of this psalm and see in them the reality of fulfilling our heart’s desire. We can look into scripture and see the salvation God promises us; we can learn to discern, understand, and love God’s righteous ways; and we can value his ways far above anything else we might value in this life, even to the point of despising any ways that are contrary to his ways. And when we fail, for fail we shall, we are covered by his blood offered on the cross for us.
Although, even though I know these things – perchance you have the same experience – I often look into scripture’s mirror and still find my longing filled with despair. Yes, I know God has offered salvation from sins through the completed work of Jesus on the cross to me, but I still wonder if my sins are so great that he is unwilling or unable to forgive me of them. I wonder if scripture is perhaps truly is a Mirror of Erised, only showing that which I desire, not that which is attainable. I also wonder if, instead of seeing salvation wiping away my temporal sins in scripture’s mirror, I see an eternal mark of death, much like Nathaniel Hawthorne’s description of Hester Prynne’s scarlet letter: “The symbol was not mere scarlet cloth, tinged in an earthly dye-pot, but was red-hot with infernal fire, and could be seen glowing all alight, whenever Hester Prynne walked abroad in the night-time.” Finally, I wonder if I will ever be different, if I will ever change, and if I will ever find victory over sin.
But then, through faith in the promises of God, I catch a glimpse of his infinite love, grace, and mercy. I see who he wants to make of me and that there is nothing I can do, have done, or are in the midst of doing that his power is not unable to overcome. In short, I see that the words in verse 121 are not only words that Jesus as my Christ and Lord can say, but they are words I can even now say because Jesus’ blood has “made perfect forever those who are being made holy.” (Hebrews 10:14)
While the Mirror of Erised can drive men mad, wasting away like Narcissus, the Mirror of Scripture offers hope to the hopeless, purity to the sinful, and victory to the defeated, thus transforming my reading of scripture from a cause for despair into a prayer of hope.
